![]() I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom-highlights. When nothing goes right, go left instead. You might also want to check out our list of Best Short Captions. Here are some of our favorite short funny captions. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. “Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.ĭid you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a “No Bell” prize. Where are the average things manufactured? The satisfactory. Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt. Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.Ĭoffee makes my morning but Friday makes my week! Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. ![]() Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing? Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming. Your secrets are safe with me… I wasn’t even listening. I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth. Use these funny captions for Instagram on your next post. Yet…I wouldn’t call them lies! Funny Captions for Instagram Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. If I was to be controlled, I would have come with a remote. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it. You never realize what you have until it’s gone. What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? – Retired If you set impossible goals you’ll never be disappointed when you fail. The best thing to do first thing in the morning is to go right back to sleep. I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity. ![]() People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work. The hardest thing being single is finding a reason to shower.įollow your heart, but take your brain with you. The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.ĭear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.Īn apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit. If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.ĭon’t be ashamed of who you are. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying! These funny captions are guaranteed to make you smile. ![]()
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